After an unfortunate incident with a lollipop lady (it's a long story) Ben Fletcher narrowly avoids the Young Offenders Unit. Instead he is told to Give Something Back to the community and develop his Sense of Social Alignment...

Of course Ben does what most teenage boys would do: he takes up knitting. He's always had a Thing for the teacher and it would be a welcome change from endless conversations about Top Gear and Chelsea FC with his dad.

Obviously it doesn't quite go as he thought it would. There is a high risk of eternal HUMILIATION and becoming

REPELLENT to all girls. But Ben's nothing if not a risk-taker. Just ask the lollipop lady...